i woke up really early this morning to do some last-minute studying for my accounting final, which started at 10am (yes, on a saturday. stupid school). i’m not sure if it’s a bad sign when you’ve already taken a nap by 9am, but i did. the exam was basically terrible. suffice it to say that i am quite worried about my grade.
in an effort to take my mind off of things after the exam and to pick up a few things i needed, i went to the mall. first, let me say, i love the hallmark store. i really do. i have some thirty different sets of notecards and stationary (and i like to use it). the problem is, i hate buying cards for holidays. i wanted to get mom a mother’s day card before i go home so i don’t have to get one when i’m out with her. makes sense, right? but here’s the thing: there may be entire racks of cards, but they have about four basic themes. you have the cards from small children (“i love you, mommy”), the super sappy cards (“mother, i would be nothing without you, you are the reason i am alive, you sculpted me and i am eternally grateful. now that i am also a mother, i realize that i want to be just like you and i treasure our friendship”), the “funny” cards (“i’m surprised you didn’t kill me when i was a kid” OR “aren’t you glad you had such a wonderful kid?!”), and the super expensive cards ($4 for a greeting card is insane, regardless of whether it plays music, has a bit of cloth on it, or has some scrapbooky detailing). every card i saw that i even remotely liked was either $4 or one that i KNOW i’ve given to mom before. i ended up with a blank card that i’ll have to write the message in myself. i feel as though i am caught between age groups. i am not a child, to give mom a cartoon card, but i’m not an adult to send a sappy, flower covered card, either. i want something classsy, simply stated and relatively inexpensive. apparently, this is too much to ask. sigh! (note that i’m not trying to mock people who send sappy cards or people who like to receive them. they just really aren’t my style and my family would be quite surprised if i started sending them).
if that was all the fun the mall had in store for me, things might have been ok. i can deal with a bad card selection. the thing i have very little patience for is clothes shopping. i know that i’m picky, but i don’t feel like i’m horribly misshapen or disproportional and i think that there should be some clothes out there that reflect that and fit and flatter me! i get so frustrated going into store after store and trying on clothes that look terrible on me (in my opinion). one current trend is shirts that are super-long and form-fitting. there is nothing long and lanky about me… i’m 5’4″ and i’m pretty small, but i still have some extra around the middle (in my opinion) that i’m not comfortable highlighting the way those shirts do on me. another trend is to sell basically only two-piece swimwear. i haven’t gotten a new swimsuit in years because anything that is one piece is made for women older than me, in boring, flowery prints or terrible cuts. is it so wrong to want a modest suit with a pattern as fun as those for bikinis without having to pay $100 at a specialty surf shop? most of my clothes are getting old and icky because i can’t find anything to replace them with and it just really bothers me. i feel so inadequate when there isn’t anything that fits me or makes me look good.
i promise that i’m done ranting or being sad or whatever. i think i’m just really stressed out. i haven’t knit at all in the past week due to the wrist problem, so there isn’t too much excitement. i did find and throw away all the unfinished projects i talked about last post. it was really hard to just get rid of them, but it would have taken so much more effort to do anything with them that they just needed to go. i even took a picture, haha.
i really need to get back to studying (stupid exams!), so i’ll leave you with pictures. i think i promised straight hair pictures a while back, so here they are. these are me all cleaned up, going to an academic honorary induction last week.